Everything New

New every morning, new every time. That's how it should be. Life, love, faith, hope.
New hope every single morning.
Renewal of faith every single day.
The same song, with a new meaning every time we sing it.
Living our life like its new to us, for everyday.
Take a new breath every single time like it means the world to us.
Looking at you differently every single time.
A first kiss every time I kiss you.
A first glance every time I see the naked loveliness that is you.
Loving you everyday in a new way like its the last time I ever do.

You don't mean the world to me, you are my world
So I am going to look at the sun and feel its warmth
I am going to appreciate the air, like it's all I will ever have.
I am going to work the earth, cultivating it in a new way everyday.
I am going to explore that world with new vigor everyday

Such is Life

Hands tied, the ultimate frustration
Especially where a loved one is involved,
Doors shut an incentive to anger,
A sign that we are not needed

We fight, we make up, that is life.
If we are really worth it, we move on.
Hanging on to the outcome of little battles,
Will not win you the war that is life.

Face your fears, admit your faults
Then move on, that is life.
We hang on to petty things,
Little things that really do not matter.

A farmer sows, even through tears,
A soldier fights, even in fear.
We have no right to give up, regardless,
Such my dear should be life.

Lost (Incomplete)

So I am sitting here, wondering,
How did I get to this spot?
Even more important, How do I leave?
It started with curiosity,
Slowly so slowly crept through my mind,
Foolishly I let it take hold of me,
Now i can't shake loose, I'm locked

I started this journey happy,
Focused, mindful and true.
Sincere like a child, happy at heart,
Bubbly with joy, real joy from within.
My Shepherd to guide, me happy to follow,
Memories still remain of times so sweet.
When things were good and also true

They called them wolves, hungry for food,
They offered friendship and looked well kept
They came along with fun, popularity,
All bundled with something called satisfaction,
Curiosity killed the cat they say,
But then same cat has nine lives
And so has liberty to live recklessly

I followed, thinking I was smart and clever
I can pull out and leave whenever I want
So sure I could find my way back to my place
Little did I know that it was a blunder,
Friends in guise, while they shared their hunger.
Days passed, weeks, months and years,
Blind to the truth I still followed.

At the beginning, storms came and passed,
Doubts came and were quickly eased,
Now the clouds are here to stay,
Doubts ever increasing day by day
I am lost, truly, totally, completely
Thought I knew my way but truly I don't
Wish I had someone to guide me home.

Been lost for so long, lost in the dark
It begins to feel familiar, it is all I know,
Sadness at the edge of my mind, round its borders,
Pain right after like a cushion, always growing.
I am tired, been struggling for so long,
I want to let go and drown so I can come out again.

One of them days

A morning, the beginning of a bright new day,
I haven't slept enough, but must still get up,
I up my hygiene, go down on my knees and pray,
Lord let Your will be done till the day is gone.
On a usual day, this would be a beautiful day,
Today I can feel a cloud, I feel something missing,
I feel cold, can't shake the feeling with shivers
There is an empty feeling that lingers

It is so easy to dwell on the cold, the shivers,
Even easier to wallow in hurt and pain that hinders,
Point fingers, push blame, riddled with grief,
Shot by bullets, from many a man's mischief.
Shut yourself up, so people won't see,
Tears keep flowing, won't let you be,
That space in your heart ever increasing,
The numbness it brings never ceasing.

I remember the sunny days gone by, happy days,
I remember the storms in between and I smile
Because I remember the rainbows in between,
Samples of love, promises of warmth to come.
So easy to forget when dark times come,
What it feels like to be warm and loved,
Easy to forget in pain, that its just one chain,
A chain which once broken opens the door to life.

Untitled..

We struggle we fight, we persevere and hold on,
Searching for signs, when the sign is right before your eyes.
Looking for warnings, when the danger is all around...
Thinking you are following directions, when you are lost..
When you have been lost for so long, that you can't find yourself..
This is not the time to think, not the time to ponder...
This is not the time to fight, but the time to surrender.
He is searching, your Father is, the Shepherd is as well,
The Comforter is waiting for you at that point,
The point where you give in and surrender,
Where you give up and return to His warmth and rest.
Lift up your eyes from all that is around you..
Lift up your eyes and see the situation as it is..
You are not alone..
He has been with you all along just waiting.
Waiting to say, Welcome Home..

Untitled.

Have you ever been hungry,
Hungry but with no desire to eat.
Ever felt like running?
Running with nowhere to go.
I feel empty, nothing makes any sense.
My life all that I thought had meaning,
Blown away, made meaningless...
Blown away in less than a day...
Am back to the beginning,
Back to the basics. Again.
And it hurts, it hurts badly.
They say life flashes before your eyes
in the moments before you die
I say it flashes before your eyes,
Everytime you come to a point where you have been before.
People don't see the flashes, they never do...
They only see the lost looking man, standing by the road side...
Would be so easy to give up now,
But then history will only see the failure and not the efforts.
In all, all in all... There is a God,
He sees the history and most importantly,
He sees the future. In Him will I trust.

Untitled...

Somethings ain't just worth till u have them
Then even a million bucks won't take u away.
It starts with a smile, a conversation,
Five conversations later, u just can't stay away.

Distance seems so far away, till u find a reason to cross it,
Eyes meet across a hallway, meaningful glances.
The smell of her perfume dulls ur senses.
The move of her hips in your mind still stays.

They say love is blind till you feel it,
The reasons no man can understand,
The love for her keeps you seemingly without reason
The woman's worth just keeps increasing.

Somethings ain't just worth till u feel them
Your love, your warmth, the soft touch of your lips.
I might be a blind fool, a prisoner but this I know.
This ship has come to rest. To rest in the port of love.

Things change...

Rarely hardly ever do this, but then I wrote this while thinking of a friend of mine.


Tears may come now, but you will smile again,
Pain will go away, wounds will heal again,
Scars may remain, but they can shape and mold you,
So don't try to hide who you are,
But then know who you will be.

The world is round true, but it turns, constantly,
Down you may be today, stars you will face tomorrow.
Seasons come and go but things never remain the same,
A season may bring pain this year, but then;
The same season, could bring joy on the next.

Treasure the times, treasure the moments,
They fly by, past and gone forever.
When it seems you can't hold it in,
Let it out slowly, don't hold it in,
Let it go surely and then move on.

Life is a journey, a life-long one,
Whether it be comfortable or uncomfortable,
Know this, it can get easier if u move on,
So, smile through the tears,
Laugh through the pain,
Find the little slices of joy,
So you can be as right as rain.
Hold the joy in and find warmth,
Laugh through the pain and know peace,
Know and remember all through this;
Things never ever stay the same.


Many thoughts.

Mixed Feelings

One of them sleepless nights, a night when you desire company but at the same time dread it, one of the times when you need a friend but are scared that the demands you could place on them would be far more than they should bear. A partial expression of how I feel.


A combination of sad. lonely and tired,
Heart aches, mind races, many paces,
Sleepless nights,, physically tired,
I close my eyes and see different faces.
Faces from the past, the present and the future.
Mind threatens to fall apart, needing a suture.

I look around, searching for refuge, for strength,
I walk around, I need hope, i am losing my faith.
Nothing seems to work right, things fall apart,
I wonder and I wander, should I stay or go,
Can I stand the cold, these winds that blow
Or should I let it be and just let it go.

A hug, a shoulder, a kind word or thought,
Someone to trust, to care is what I want,
A place I can come back to, no matter what,
A friend, companion, a place of comfort.
Out of the fear and the cold, a place of warmth.
A place where I can close my eyes without thought.
(To be continued)

The missing piece

Do you ever feel like something is missing?
Like no matter how much you have,
that there is something more?
Do you ever feel like there is someone missing?
Someone all the people in the world can't replace?
Do you ever feel devoid of just one emotion,
Fun moments that don't last,
Smiles that don't reach your eyes'
Tears just beneath the surface
A heartache that nudges your mind
At least once a day to remind u of this...
Carefree moments spent with a loved one.
Moments when all that matteres was someone else
Memories of times when 2 souls where so closely knit
The entire world ceased to exist.
Hearts beating in sync,
Lips locked in a kiss so deep.
Minds at peace, limbs at ease
Memories from a time before,
A time once again longed for
A time with you.

Fears

I dare to think, I dare to believe,
I dare to hope, and I think you can see...
My fears clash with my desires,
I am scared that all with go up in fires.
I know what I want, I see what I need,
But to reach out could mean I will bleed.
It hurts when a heart gets broken
It numbs though when that heart is taken.
I think it hurts even more when that heart is in sight,
But the path to it is as dark as night.

It is beautiful when you are with someone,
Someone you can share your world with,
It hurts when the one thing you can't share.
Is how you feel about that someone.
Unspoken words, held in just to give support,
Unsaid feelings loudly proclaimed with my eyes,
Sad to say those eyes can't be seen,
Those words can't be heard,
My heart's desires, my mind travels,
Everything points to you, longs for you,
But the fear of holding so tight
Keeps me real quiet.
The fear that I will kill the thing I long for,
Makes me hold my peace.
Unsaid words, unspoken feelings.
One day will be revealed.

In a little while

If you have ever seen a farmer sow seeds, seen the seed in the moments from when the seed leaves the farmers hand, to the point where it hits the ground? That is how I feel, unsure, not knowing where I will land.

Add the winds, add a storm blowing, add a lot of other factors and it sums up to a very shaky flight, that is where I am, unsure... Truth be told if things were as easy as we always think they are, life will be a lot easier to walk through. Sadly it almost ever is..

I leave the hand scared, cold, lonely. We were many when in the farmers hands, but now I am alone, I had the comfort of other seeds, I had the warmth of the farmers hands, but now I am cold.

I know my heart, I know my fears, I know what I may see by the time I hit the ground, and I will admit that I am frightened, worried, but on the exterior I am so calm, unruffled, hard as a seed on the outside.
On the inside, my heart is shaky, my mind is quaking, thoughts keep running in my mind of what could be, what could be going on and the consequences of my flight.

I know this for sure though, I will land, I will root and I will grow, no matter where it is. I will hurt for a while, I will be lonely for a while, and then I will shoot out and be my own man. Strong as I am meant to be, bold as I have to be, facing the odds with my foundation sinking far beneath the ground I see.

All in a little while...

Desires

The writing is on the wall that I dare,
The words are screaming that I care,
My lips form the words; hey dear,
My body longs and aches to feel you near.

I long for a partner, someone to hold dear,
I want, I long, to be in a pair,
I want to douse my doubts and my fear,
I want to express myself just so you hear.

I might be scared, frightened like a deer,
But with you I am bold, stronger than a bear,
I sit and wonder till my heart seem to tear,
How did I get to meet a jewel so rare?

Love!!!

Love is, it doesn't dwell on the past, not on the future. It loves at the moment and every moment after.
Love is, not loving too much or loving too little, it is what it is.
Love is, not a feeling, it is a state of being, like God is. You don't just show it, you live it daily, every moment.
Love is, understanding, it sees beyond the actions and knows the motives and seeing all that still chooses to love.
Love is unconditional, it is not reliant on feelings, it does not care if it is returned, because of all this it is patient, long suffering and holds no fear because it has decided to love....
Not because you are all I have or want but because you are who I choose to have or want.
Taking away your beauty, all you are, all the feelings you rouse in me, all that is left is love.
I know all you have been and I know all you are now. Most especially, I know all you can ever be, still I love you
Love is a mother choosing to give her baby up in a cradle of reeds and tar, rather than have him killed before her eyes.
Love is a prince loving a friend regardless of the fact that the friend was chosen instead of him.
Love is a man turning water into wine at the request of His mother, even when the time had not reached to be revealed.
Love is 1Cor 13:4-7, Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
It is said that there is a thin line between love and hate, I would say that the line is so thick that you can walk on it all your life and not even know it.

True story

U say u want a smoke cos d weather is cold, And u want to get a bit of warmth in your body?
U say u want some blow just to feel d high and get out of your head a bit, cos its a friday n u need to loosen up just a lil' bit?
U need some loving cos u feel a bit lonely and a lil bit of cold too, oh yeah? And dat guy/chick is giving u tha naughty eye? Uh huh
U n ur mates are out for tha nyt so a pint here or der wont matter too much. So you have 3 or 4 and then some

So please it is 11am on a hot Tuesday morning, why u still need a smoke?
I woke up this morning to smell da smoke of tha herbs n i know deep down I know
U aint heading out on this friday nyt for two obvious reasons
Its a monday morning n u got work in 46mins...
And surely you didnt get frustrated in your sleep did you?

Oh yeah u need some loving, good good...
How u gonna get that? I mean tis 2pm on this hot blessed afternoon
And d only people in sight are the really old man and woman walking ahead.
Are dey really giving you the naughty eye?? No really!!!

And yeah i thot when you wanted to get outta ur head a bit u went for smokes
I see u downing that bottle of JD like tis water n i dont see ur mates nowhere in sight
Oh... It isnt a friday nyt but cos some one poured some cold water on ur jollies
Tis alryt to let of some steam eh!?!

Lets be real bro,
Call a spade a spade sis, cos it sho ain't no spoon
It starts with the first verse,
Goes on to the second verse...
Do u really wanna get on to the 3rd verse??
Addiction, liver and esteedees??
I dont need to paint no picture, we see all them stuff daily.
Is it worth it?? I leave you to decide.
But you can leave clean and holy,
And still be happy.
Your choice, your decision, your life

Hold on!!!

A girl/boy disturbed, emotional troubles,
A student disturbed, problems in school,
A man disturbed, with drug problems,
They are fighting, trying to stop the feeling,
They are tired want to let go
Girl by running,
Boy by sleeping around,
Student by quitting,
Man by needing one more fix,
They are thinking, these thoughts, these emotions, won't they stop? Hold on...
They are thinking, I can't possibly hold on anymore. Don't give up
The thoughts come not from outside but from inside,
Fighting them would be like fighting yourself,
Giving in to them would be like freedom, but freedom from what?
For the body but not the heart,
For the mind but not the spirit. Hold on, don't give up.
You may be down but it definitely isn't the end.
Hold on on don't give up, because doing so, letting go, giving in...
You lose in the long run.
You don't have to handle it on your own.
It's best you don't handle it on your own
Fighting yourself when you know all your weakspots?
Its like running towards a sniper with no weapons,
And surrendering, giving in to those desires, to those thoughts, becoming prisoner to them?
Is giving in to what you are fighting against in the first place.

Re: A silent cry

You sing, you praise,
You pray, you fast
You preach, touching lifes,
In tongues or not,
You are my brother/sister.
You are my life,

You lie, you steal,
Take pills? Yes I know the feeling,
Weed? Or speed?
All for a temporary high,
You drink? To drown your sorrows,
To drown the pain you feel,
Or just for fun,
You are my brother,
You are my life,

Feeling down, weary?
Hurting from a loss?
Loved one?, relationship? Or job?
So messed up that you can't face anyone?
Abused, confused,
Or just tired and wanting to break all the rules,
You are not alone, we are so many like you,
You are my brother
You are my life

We live so caught up with our problems,
That we fail to see the obvious before us,
We were born, without our knowledge,
We were born helpless,
We were born by someone who toiled,
All night sometimes, just so we could live.
Lives may have been lost just to bring you to this world,
Lives may have been lost just to make sure you survived,
Survive you did, here you stand.
You are my brother,
You are my life,

Others have lived before us,
Others have gone through what we go through
Some share, some don't
Examples to learn from, which most times we don't.
One lived to die for us,
One came sent down to die for us,
Sent by His father, to die that we might live.
That we might be born anew, to start afresh,
He is our father,
We are His Life,
He loves us.

No matter where you are,
No matter where you have been,
No rules, no commands,
Not by force but by choice,
Just come as you are,
Come as you will,
But choose to come.
He looks at the heart,
He sees your pain,
He sees the tears,
Just come,
He is our Father,
We are His life,
He loves us.

Come to me all who are burdened and heavy laden,
Come to me and receive rest.
Though your sins be as scarlet,
They shall be as white as snow.
Believe and be saved,
Believe and be born again,
Not by your effort, not by your might,
Like it was when you were born,
The pain, the labour, the suffering and the life,
It has all be done,
It is finished he said.
Believe and be born again,
You are my brother, You are my life,
God loves us all.

A sinner's prayer

How long Lord,
how long will i continue to wallow in sin,
this sin just like mud making me slip and fall
the slightest thought, the slightest wish, the slightest desire.
My spirit desires you lord but my flesh says nay,
the things of this world so enticing,
stoke the flames of my fleshly desires,
my flesh longs for them but my spirit says nay.
There's a war within me,
my flesh and spirit constantly fighting for the destination of my soul.
I am weary lord, tired of this strife,
I am tired lord of praying and hoping that your grace would be sufficient for me,
I am tired of breaking your heart each time i fall,
I am tired of wanting things i shouldn't want.
Lord all i want is you,
I want to spend my everyday with you,
I want to stop asking for your grace lord,
I want to stand in the gap lord on behalf of your people,
like abraham, like moses, david like elijah did in the days of old.
Here my cry Lord, hear my heart Lord, hear the desires of my spirit.
Just a touch from you changed Moses, changed Gideon,
turned them from zero to hero.
Lord i want to stand untainted in my time,
like daniel, like elijah, like Shedrach, Meshach and Abednego.
There are millions who would give their all to you for half of what i have,
a tenth of what i have,
there are people out there who are dying just because they love you.
My heart is heavy lord, my spirit is weary, i need your touch lord.

Loneliness...

A word often felt but much denied,
A desire for company,
A need to let out emotions,
A hug, a kind word,
Maybe just 5 minutes of your time.

The hearts cry for warmth,
warmth inflowing not outflowing,
flowing in from a friend, a loved one,
Oh just 4 minutes of your time.

We search so long, so far, so wide,
for someone to share our deepest fears,
our desires our needs.
Searching but not finding,
seeking but not feeling
reaching out but not receiving
All i need is 3 minutes.

How on earth does it go on,
How does the mind keep on keeping on,
This search wears me out,
Its tearing me down,
Dont know how much I can take,
All i need is 2 minutes.

Time is running out,
the heart turns cold and starts to slow,
all hope slowly fading out,
cos no one seems to know,
How much the heart needs to know
the warmth, the care from a friendly heart to glow..
All i needed was a minute.
To open up my heart, to show how I feel,
to know what i feel.
A minute now gone,
Heart fading away,
mind going numb,
Void of all feeling,
All dats left is loneliness...

God's goodness

I look around me daily and I see the works of man,
The buildings, cars, clothes, exotic wears,
And most times I forget a lot about what my Lord made.
I get in cars, buy the clothes,
And I have my head turned by the things I see
And most times I forget a lot about what my Lord made.
I curse when it rains, curse when it snows,
The only weather I am interested in is what is good for me,
And I forget that He made it all...
I stay up some nights and sleep through some days,
Forgetting that they were made for a reason...
And with all these going on around and in me,
I forget the little things in life that gave him pleasure,
That gave Him pleasure in the seven days.
The seven days it took Him to create the world.

The sunrise and the sunset,
One of the most beautiful sights in the world... Free.
The very air I breathe
Giving my body the fuel to live... Free.
You say bad weather???
For every drop of rain I curse about,
There is a farmer thanking God.
Thanking Him for a chance to grow the food
The same food I eat daily.
I complain when it is hot, I complain when it is cold
Which do I want?? He made them all...

I complain when things go well,
I complain even more when they are bad...
And you should hear me when there is nothing...
We ask for so much daily,
yet fail to appreciate what we already have.
I have never seen a mother complain after labour
One of the worst natural pains borne by them.
And at the end of it all, a child is born...
That one child is worth all the pain for them.
That one child is not just a result of all the labour
But also a result of God's goodness and grace.

There is a silver lining in every cloud...
But there are very dark clouds...
There is light at the end of the tunnel,
But there are very long tunnels.
Are you giving up? Or losing hope?
Are you walking the right path??
Are you beginning to doubt His goodness?
Think of a mother in labour,
Think of the works of His hands
Watch a sunrise or a sunset...
Even better, take a deep breathe...
U know what's best???
Your child is being born.
God IS good.